Tuesday, 02 August 2016 16:31

Donald Trump Enjoys Some KFC

 

70 year old, 260 pound bag of smelly, rotten cooked carrots, Donald Trump is not having a good week. He is losing to Hillary Clinton by as much as 9 points in a number of polls and his convention "bump" sank faster this week than one of Lindsay Lohan's exposed boobs. So, what does Donny do to try to regain favor with his supporters? He tries to relate to them by tweeting photos of himself fake-eating the type of food he believes they shovel into their gum-holes. Previously it was a Taco Bowl and today it's a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - although as you can see, he's not even touching it. The fork and knife is a nice touch, although I'm pretty sure the average Trump supporter don't use no fancy yoo-tinsels. That's LEE-TIST! I'm pretty certain they attack chicken with their hands harder than a pack of starving Gremlins ten minutes past midnight. Now, although Trump doesn't eat the KFC, this is not the first time he's ordered it. In fact, I heard from a source inside the Trump team that Donald orders a full KFC family meal practically every day. A-ha! So now we finally know what that straggly mess on Trump's head is comprised of - KFC coleslaw, while the chicken grease is to hold it all together. BUSTED!

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Now there's a headline I never, ever thought I'd write but once again, nothing about this election surprises me anymore. 45 year old Victoria Zdrok, a former Playboy centerfold of the year, spoke to Metropolis Nights magazine a number of years ago (which was recently rediscovered by The Daily Beast) where the former model, now author, discussed what her experience was like when she went out on a date or two with none other than Triple-chin Donald Trump. Victoria, born in the Ukraine realized Trump wished to keep their dating situation a secret because she was bi-racial and he was deathly afraid it would ruin his ‘reputation’ if anyone found out. Um...are we sure we're talking about the Donald Trump? You know - the "Make America Great...Or Close Enough" guy? I can't imagine him being prejudiced against another person's ethnicity. Where do people come up with such nonsense? 

 

 

Image Courtesy Suze.net

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Thursday, 05 May 2016 21:42

Donald Trump Loves Hispanics Today

Question: which hole is going to produce more diarrhea tonight? Donald's ass or Donald's mouth?

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Donny "the dickless" Trump has been whining, moaning, pissing, moaning, whining and pissing some more ever since Megyn Kelly, host of The Kelly File on Fox News, asked him during the first republican presidential debate back in August, if he'd like to take the opportunity presented to him then, to clarify derogatory comments HE HIMSELF MADE towards various women in the past (including Rosie O'Donnell whom Donny is apparently still very angry with because um...he didn't like The Flintstones movie?)  - and from that moment on all hell broke loose. Megyn became the target of extreme misogyny and hatred from not just Trump's poor, poor suckers supporters, but from Trump himself. Guess what? Six months later, the crybaby is still tearing up over it and feeling all the YOOOGE sads.

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Thursday, 24 December 2015 00:00

Happy Holidays Everybody!

From the Clintons, the Trumps and myself, I would like to wish all of you a safe and happy holiday 2015. There are many wonderful things to be thankful for this season - for instance, did you know there's a brand new Star Wars movie in theaters? There Is! It's like it was released without any fanfare or promotion at all whatsoever. I don't know how that movie's makers expect audiences to go see a movie without letting anybody know about it. DUMB! Hopefully, they'll try harder for the next one, and the one after that, and after that...and so on. 

If you spent any time at all reading this site this year, I thank you. If not, I still thank you because I'd like to imagine instead of reading my site, you were writing mean things about Donald Trump on other sites and if so, I really thank you. I Hope to see you all safe and happy this time next year as well. That is if President Trump doesn't kick me out of the country for the mean things I wrote about him. Let's not hope that happens.

Warm holiday Christmas wishes to all of you,

Jason.

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Donald Trump Hillary Clinton The Gossip Fox

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We can pretty much all agree by now that Donald Trump is a major brown and orange stain on the American landscape and instead of running for president, he should be locked away in a psychiatric hospital ward where he can brag to the orderlies how YUGE the results from his 3x a day Rogaine regimen is working out for him (or not). 

Well Donny Throw-up has recently taken a bit of a hit in the polls, notably in Iowa where he is now polling behind Cap'n Canada Cruz, so Donny has to put his "Asshole Meter" on blast to appeal to his base. He did that by declaring if elected president (*snicker*), he will create some kind of law thingy where Muslims will not be allowed into the United States and all current Muslim citizens will be told what each one of Lindsay Lohan's sugar-daddies tells her after she spends two months living rent-free inside their expensive London homes - "GIT OUT."

Image Courtesy Washington Post

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Wednesday, 26 August 2015 23:06

Question Of The Day #2

Will Donald Trump be elected president of the United States before Lindsay Lohan wins an Oscar?

Hell no he won't.

See you all next time for "Question of The Day."

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In an interview with Maureen Dowd in The New York Times this past weekend, beady-eyed, flabby, toilet-mouthed waste of skin in a nice suit Donald Trump said that he realizes he does at times, go a little too far when saying certain words which enter his broken brains. No! Really? It was then at that moment when Donald decided to take a shot at legendary supermodel Heidi Klum. I'm not sure why beaver-head Trump decided to make an arbitrary comment regarding Heidi Klum in that instant. Maybe because they're both of German ancestry? I dunno. All I know is that you'd better watch out, Claudia Shiffer. Trump will probably be grunting out an insult your way next.

Image courtesy Instagram

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