Celebrity Gossip
Tuesday, 03 May 2016 14:35

A Bunch Of Attactive Famous Women Attended The MET Gala

The annual MET Ball Gala was held last night in New York. The event which was hosted by Taylor Swift and Vogue US-editor-in-chief Anna Wintour occurs on the first Monday of every May. The most exciting first Monday of May I can remember was when the toys for The Phantom Menace went on sale in 1999. *sigh* Good times.

Every MET Gala function has a particular theme and this year's theme was "Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology." That basically means that those attending should ask designers to raid the costume department of Warner Bros Studios and pick out whatever left over items from Blade Runner and The Matrix they could find. If that couldn't be done, then they were on their own to create whatever Barbarella or Fifth Element inspired outfits they could dream of. Some people attending didn't even do that and just wore whatever the designers offered to them - like Emily Ratajkowski pictured above. Wow, nice paper towel dress, Emily. Can it absorb coffee stains quicker than the other leading paper towel brands? Dress grade: B-

You'd think Alica Vikander, who starred in last year's most acclaimed futuristic movie, Ex Machina would have nailed it with her outfit last night. This Louis Vuitton creation looks like something Ariana Grande would wear out to McDonald's. Not that I'd ever take Ariana to a McDonald's because she's likely run off in the back and lick all the frozen beef patties stored in the bags. Dress grade: C-

 

Hey, look! The twin girls from The Shining are all grown up. They're actually looking pretty good. Not those outfits though. Redrum! Dress grades: C

 

That dude from One Direction wore Captain Phasma's arms. Eh, not bad. If he had been wearing Kylo Ren's face mask it would have been a lot cooler. Grade: B-

 

Dakota Johnson looked like she performs magic shows at children's birthday parties inside the local city library. This shit is terrible. Hey, Dakota, your fashion sense is as sharp as the one you use when choosing quality movie scripts. Dress grade: Fifty shades of GAH!

 

Demi Lovato is actually quite beautiful and I'm surprised she didn't go full-on futuristic last night because quite often during concerts, she'll come out dressed like Darth Vader. Still, I like this Moschino dress quite a bit. Maybe because the gold swirls remind me of french fries. Can't say anything bad about a dress which does that. Dress grade: B

 

Here's Emily Ratajkowski again. I know I ragged on her dress before but damn, if this girl isn't pretty as hell. She could show up in nothing and still look good and if you've ever seen her Instagram, you know she often does choose to not wear clothing. Although, to be fair, we do waste a significant amount of time during our lives putting on clothes. That's time in which we could be doing other things in life. I believe Emily might be smarter than all of us in that regard.

 

Remember Frieda Pinto? She was in that one pretty awesome movie and then not so much. What happened there? I dunno but I don't think this dress is gonna help. Tory Burch Dress grade: C

 

Katie Holmes paid the $30,000 ticket it costs to attend the MET Gala to remind people she's still around and somehow managed to become Sandra Bullock's twin. A for effort but this Marc Jacobs dress gets a B-

 

Madonna just wanted to let everybody know she's very interested in being in the next Mad Max movie. I believe she succeeded. Givenchy Dress grade: NO! The Boots are wicked however. An A for the boots.

 

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly attended her first ever MET Ball. Her nemesis Donald Trump was a no-show although, I'm sure he'll be attacking her outfit on Twitter for the rest of the month. I love her Cameron Diaz in A Life Less Ordinary haircut. Dress grade: B- (though Donald will likely give it a big F and call it a "Losah.")

 

Miranda Kerr chose the night's theme to appear as Bjork wearing a Freddy Krueger sweater. Why? Dress grade: B-

 

Nicki Minaj wore this very itchy looking outfit. I believe it's from the Morticia Addams line. Dress (I think) grade: D

 

Rose Byrne looked great in this Ralph Lauren shimmery dress. She should have spent the night standing next to Katie Holmes and told people they were having a Sandra Bullock look-alike contest. What is it with these celebs now looking just like Sandra Bullock? Was this a theme for the night as well - or are they saving that for that next year? Dress grade: B+

 

Here's one of my favorites, Rosie Hungtington-Whitely looking damn smoking in this Ralph Lauren gown. Again, I do not understand what is futuristic about the dresses Ralph's designed for this event. Did he even get the memo? Well, whatever. Rosie is always gorgeous and she looks great in this white gown. I hope she didn't stop for chili-dogs topped with mustard on the way back home in this gown. That would be a huge disaster just waiting to happen. Dress grade: A-

 

Sarah Jessica Parker wore this dress by Monse and I'm guessing her plastic surgeon is the same guy who works on Melania Trump. Dress grade: C

 

Selena Gomez wore a white sundress covered in tiny Meatwads from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. At least that's what they look like to me. She topped it off with a black leather bra thing. I guess everybody was too polite to tell the poor thing she was wearing her underwear outside her dress. Grade: B-

 

And Beyonce's sister, Solange Knowles dressed as Spongebob's secret sister. Dress grade: Becky with the horrid dress.

Images Courtesy WENN, Flynet, WireImage, FilmMagic, Getty

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