Celebrity Gossip

And Here's Jessica Alba In A Bikini For Shape Magazine

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I don't know if you've ever noticed but Jessica Alba is sort of pretty decent looking. No, really, She is. This is why magazines love putting her on their covers. Decent looking people like Jessica tend to sell magazines while not so decent looking people (like Lindsay Lohan) don't. I know. Funny world, ain't it? Jessica appeals to women because she's a hard-working mom who's balancing a career and family life and she appeals to men because - well she just appeals to men because she looks like Jessica Alba and men are simple, shallow creatures. You're welcome, ladies. 


I don't know if you've ever noticed but Jessica Alba is sort of pretty decent looking. No, really, She is. This is why magazines love putting her on their covers. Decent looking people like Jessica tend to sell magazines while not so decent looking people (like Lindsay Lohan) don't. I know. Funny world, ain't it? Jessica appeals to women because she's a hard-working mom who's balancing a successful career and family life and she appeals to men because - well she just appeals to men because she looks like Jessica Alba and because men are simple, shallow creatures. You're welcome, ladies. 

Jessica is the cover woman for the June issue of Shape magazine. The #1 magazine for female fitness trainers everywhere. I'm not kidding. Every female trainer I've been to has these on their coffee table. There was one time, I picked one up and there was a coupon inside for frozen pizza so I tore it out and on my way home from training, I bought myself a frozen pizza - with my $1.00 off coupon I just got from inside that Shape magazine. That pizza was good! I don't know if there are any coupons in the issue featuring Jessica but you will find what she told Shape is her workout routine:

"I have to break a sweat or I don’t feel like I’ve gotten anything done. When I only have 30 minutes, I’ll do a series of burpees, mountain climbers, squat jumps, planks, and a few sun salutations. But I’m not going to lie. Working out sucks. Which is why I love taking classes, because I’m surrounded by other people and that keeps me motivated and accountable. These days, I do power yoga with light weights in a 105-degree room, so it’s a mix of hot yoga and strength training. I also spin. The key for me is good music, like 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyoncé."

These are the same types of exercises I used to do with my trainer. The Burpees and the squats were alright but damn, did I ever hate doing those planks. Oooh..my poor elbows. I would shake and sweat and strain and that was before I even knelt down on the mat. Whenever I was in that God-awful plank position I'd pretend there was a chocolate cake just under my face and if my arms gave out while holding in that position, my face would fall into that cake and all the cute girls at the gym would point and laugh at me. Well, I mean they'd point and laugh harder at me. Even more than they would usually. Which would make me cry and trust me - nobody ever wanted to see that.

Images Courtesy Shape

 

 

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