Celebrity Gossip

Jessica Alba's Maxim Photoshoot Now Has Video.

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The music sucks but the video is awesome. The good people over at Maxim have released video footage of Jessica Alba who is currently on that magazine's September cover, which you can buy from your local Starbucks or gas station right now. I noticed that Maxim has been making their magazines much more slimmer these days. Along with these Archie digests. Remember how those Archie double digests used to be nearly the size of the phone book but now they're no thicker than an iphone? What are those Archie people trying to pull off? I'll bet they're not even "double" size at all. I think the Archie people are trying to pull a fast over over us. This will not stand. Something has to be done. I demand an inquiry. Who's with me? Hmm? Nobody? Oh none of you even care? Fine. You explain to your children why they're being cheated out of Archie comic material. Or don't. Just lie to them. Teach them the world is a cruel dishonest, harsh, bitter black hole and the sooner the accept that fact of life the sooner they can lose their innocence and then turn to hard drugs just to cope and then they'll turn to crime to get the money to support their out-of-control drug habit. There. Are you happy now? You have nobody to blame but yourselves.

Wait, was was this even about? Oh, right. Jessica Alba. Say, she's pretty hot isn't she? Yep. Pretty hot.


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